Well... I was going strong on my 40 day journey until Sunday rolled around. Somehow I just didn't get up to read, reflect, and exercise on Sunday morning. If I had continued on my plan, today would be Day 7. Instead, I'm calling today Day 2. That is my way of holding myself accountable, of having integrity, of being ethical. I'm starting all over again.
People often say failure isn't an option. But that's crazy. Sometimes we fail. Sometimes we lose. Sometimes things just don't work out the way that we planned. Sometimes we graduate from law school, take and pass the bar, and are still unemployed. What makes us strong, what gives us character, is how we react in the face of failure. Do we lay down and accept defeat? Do we learn from our defeat and use it to move forward?
I'm preparing to do a report on the book of Deutoronomy in church this week. Deutoronomy is written in the form of 3 sermons delivered by Moses to the Children of Isreal before they cross into the Promised Land. What strikes me about the book is how many times Moses tells the Children of Isreal that they WILL turn their backs on God. Its incredible. Here are these Isrealites, finally reaching this perfect land that God has promised to their ancestors after wandering for 40 years in the wilderness. They are probably in a celebratory mood. They are probably thanking God and singing His praises. And here comes Moses, like Debbie Downer, telling them that its inevitable that they will forget all the wonderful things God has done for them and all the incredbile things that God has brought them through.
But honestly, that's life. I admit that I was riding high last week. Getting up every morning, praying, working out, being productive and organized about moving my career forward. I was enjoying the benefits... the increased energy, the great mood I was in. I thought I had it all under control. I wasn't prepared for failure. I didn't think that I could fail. But I was setting myself up for failure. I was forgetting that getting up early in the morning wasn't just about working out and being productive. It was about starting off my day being focused on God. Everything else (working out, job hunting, networking, being pleasant) flowed from there.
Moses tells the Children of Isreal that its inevitable that they will fail and lose the Promised Land that they waited so long to inherit. But that if they will return to God with their whole heart, He will return them to their inheritance. Similarly, I'm returning to my 40 day journey with my whole heart, focusing on God. I will accept the benefits as they come, but I will not allow myself to be distracted by them.
My father used to always say we plan and God PLANS. Its ok for me to have a plan for my life. Everyone needs goals and ambitions. I want to lose 20 pounds (I need to lose at least 40, but that's a story for another day). But I will work harder to not let my plans and my goals distract me from God's plan for me. I will focus on Him with my whole heart, and whatever flows from there will be marvelous in my eyes.
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