I never answer the phone when the caller ID shows a number I don't recognize. Partly because I don't want to be surprised by some collection agency from some bill that I forgot to pay 6 years ago and sent into a panic. But mostly because I like to know what the phonecall is about so I can have time to get my mind right and be in the right space to deal with the caller.
Yesterday a call came through from a job that I interviewed for. I recognized the number immediately, but I still didn't answer the phone. As it rang, I thought they are either calling me for a second-round interview or to tell me that they have decided to go with another candidate. Either way, I could already feel my level of anxiety rising. At that moment, I decided to just relax and take control. I took control of my emotions, steeled my nerves, and braced myself for the voicemail. It was a good news! A second-round interview.
I freely admit that mind can run a hundred worse case scenarios in 30 seconds. Its a talent (or a curse) of mine. However, its not very productive to become all anxious and worried at the thought of a potentially bad situation. I'm chosing therefore to be hopeful from this point on. I'm going to try to take control of my worst-case scenario mentality. I could be walking into that interview thinking and praying for the best and still not get the job (that's a worst-case scenario, isn't it?). But I will remember that it is not me that is being rejected. The job wasn't for me and God just chose to move me out of the running. If I got the job and the job wasn't for me, would I have the strength to walk away? Probably not.
So from this point on, I will try to focus on the best-case scenario. Best-case scenario is that I will walk into that interview and knock their socks off!
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
Strength to Handle Controversy
As I approach the completion of my 3rd decade on this planet (yeah... I'm that YOUNG), I'm starting to realize that not everyone is going to like me. I know... its a shocker! Actually, the shocking part is that it took me nearly 30 years to accept that fact. I always thought that if you were kind and agreeable, that everyone would just reciprocate with kindness and agreeableness. But the truth is, that no matter how nice, no matter how kind, no matter how agreeable you are, controversy will come your way.
The great thing about being a child of God is learning new things about myself everyday. God has given me the strength to handle situations that I never imagined would come into my life. Being a child of God doesn't mean that I have to be a doormat. In fact it gives me the courage and the conviction to stand strong in my beliefs, to speak boldly about what I believe to be true.
As a relatively new mom, I often would be offended by all the unsolicited advice that came my way. All I would do is walk into a room full of older women, and I would get opinions on everything from what to feed my daughter to how to dress her. All these comments I would accept with a smile, but inside I would be screaming HOW DARE YOU TELL ME HOW TO RAISE MY BABY. Of course I never said anything because I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings or offend someone. The problem with the silent-smile approach is that it doesn't address the behavior. As long as I smiled and said nothing, I kept getting unsolicited advice. It wasn't until I started responding with "thanks, but I know what I'm doing" that the unsolicited comments began to subside.
Of course its important to have some kind of balance. Responding to unwanted advice, comments, or behavior with a nasty attitude does nothing to help the situation. I recently realized that God has given me the ability to apply my lawyering talents to myself, to advocate on my own behalf. While I can clearly and effectively advocate for someone else, it has taken some time to learn how to do so for myself and remain true to what I believe. But now... I finally feel like I got it:
1. Being a child of God means loving your fellowman.
2. Your fellowman doesn't necessarily have your best interest at heart, and that doesn't mean you love them any less.
3. Loving your fellowman doesn't mean agreeing with your fellowman or allowing your fellowman to walk all over you.
4. God has already given you everything you need to deal with whatever situation HE may throw your way.
5. God has not given you a spirit of fear, so speak up and speak out.
The great thing about being a child of God is learning new things about myself everyday. God has given me the strength to handle situations that I never imagined would come into my life. Being a child of God doesn't mean that I have to be a doormat. In fact it gives me the courage and the conviction to stand strong in my beliefs, to speak boldly about what I believe to be true.
As a relatively new mom, I often would be offended by all the unsolicited advice that came my way. All I would do is walk into a room full of older women, and I would get opinions on everything from what to feed my daughter to how to dress her. All these comments I would accept with a smile, but inside I would be screaming HOW DARE YOU TELL ME HOW TO RAISE MY BABY. Of course I never said anything because I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings or offend someone. The problem with the silent-smile approach is that it doesn't address the behavior. As long as I smiled and said nothing, I kept getting unsolicited advice. It wasn't until I started responding with "thanks, but I know what I'm doing" that the unsolicited comments began to subside.
Of course its important to have some kind of balance. Responding to unwanted advice, comments, or behavior with a nasty attitude does nothing to help the situation. I recently realized that God has given me the ability to apply my lawyering talents to myself, to advocate on my own behalf. While I can clearly and effectively advocate for someone else, it has taken some time to learn how to do so for myself and remain true to what I believe. But now... I finally feel like I got it:
1. Being a child of God means loving your fellowman.
2. Your fellowman doesn't necessarily have your best interest at heart, and that doesn't mean you love them any less.
3. Loving your fellowman doesn't mean agreeing with your fellowman or allowing your fellowman to walk all over you.
4. God has already given you everything you need to deal with whatever situation HE may throw your way.
5. God has not given you a spirit of fear, so speak up and speak out.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Dear Haiti
The news of the earthquake in Haiti is devastating. There's nothing like a natural disaster to highlight how self-centered we all can be. As I was planning out my interview outfit and my hairstyle, I heard the news. Since last night I have been reading the tweets from people unable to contact their loved ones in Haiti. This morning I saw the blank look on the face of a co-worker who was finally able to reach her elderly father, but still had so many other friends that she knew nothing about.
The world is such a strange place. We use email and twitter and cell phones to keep us connected. And when we don't have those things we realize just how far apart we really are. Haiti seems an eternity away. But through our faith and belief in God we are all connected. Besides donating what I can to the relief effort, I'm pledging prayer to Haiti.
Dear Haiti, we are praying for you. We pray that you find peace. We pray that you are delivered from this disaster. We pray that people are inspired to give what they can to assist you. We pray that you are not forgotten. We pray that The Only Wise God, our Savior, will give you everything you stand in need of. We love you.
**My friend Sarah at www.sarenzobeads.com is selling Haiti Relief Key chains. 100% of the proceeds are going to the relief effort. View her online store at http://bit.ly/5HpHX5. **
The world is such a strange place. We use email and twitter and cell phones to keep us connected. And when we don't have those things we realize just how far apart we really are. Haiti seems an eternity away. But through our faith and belief in God we are all connected. Besides donating what I can to the relief effort, I'm pledging prayer to Haiti.
Dear Haiti, we are praying for you. We pray that you find peace. We pray that you are delivered from this disaster. We pray that people are inspired to give what they can to assist you. We pray that you are not forgotten. We pray that The Only Wise God, our Savior, will give you everything you stand in need of. We love you.
**My friend Sarah at www.sarenzobeads.com is selling Haiti Relief Key chains. 100% of the proceeds are going to the relief effort. View her online store at http://bit.ly/5HpHX5. **
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
We fall down, but we get up...
Well... I was going strong on my 40 day journey until Sunday rolled around. Somehow I just didn't get up to read, reflect, and exercise on Sunday morning. If I had continued on my plan, today would be Day 7. Instead, I'm calling today Day 2. That is my way of holding myself accountable, of having integrity, of being ethical. I'm starting all over again.
People often say failure isn't an option. But that's crazy. Sometimes we fail. Sometimes we lose. Sometimes things just don't work out the way that we planned. Sometimes we graduate from law school, take and pass the bar, and are still unemployed. What makes us strong, what gives us character, is how we react in the face of failure. Do we lay down and accept defeat? Do we learn from our defeat and use it to move forward?
I'm preparing to do a report on the book of Deutoronomy in church this week. Deutoronomy is written in the form of 3 sermons delivered by Moses to the Children of Isreal before they cross into the Promised Land. What strikes me about the book is how many times Moses tells the Children of Isreal that they WILL turn their backs on God. Its incredible. Here are these Isrealites, finally reaching this perfect land that God has promised to their ancestors after wandering for 40 years in the wilderness. They are probably in a celebratory mood. They are probably thanking God and singing His praises. And here comes Moses, like Debbie Downer, telling them that its inevitable that they will forget all the wonderful things God has done for them and all the incredbile things that God has brought them through.
But honestly, that's life. I admit that I was riding high last week. Getting up every morning, praying, working out, being productive and organized about moving my career forward. I was enjoying the benefits... the increased energy, the great mood I was in. I thought I had it all under control. I wasn't prepared for failure. I didn't think that I could fail. But I was setting myself up for failure. I was forgetting that getting up early in the morning wasn't just about working out and being productive. It was about starting off my day being focused on God. Everything else (working out, job hunting, networking, being pleasant) flowed from there.
Moses tells the Children of Isreal that its inevitable that they will fail and lose the Promised Land that they waited so long to inherit. But that if they will return to God with their whole heart, He will return them to their inheritance. Similarly, I'm returning to my 40 day journey with my whole heart, focusing on God. I will accept the benefits as they come, but I will not allow myself to be distracted by them.
My father used to always say we plan and God PLANS. Its ok for me to have a plan for my life. Everyone needs goals and ambitions. I want to lose 20 pounds (I need to lose at least 40, but that's a story for another day). But I will work harder to not let my plans and my goals distract me from God's plan for me. I will focus on Him with my whole heart, and whatever flows from there will be marvelous in my eyes.
People often say failure isn't an option. But that's crazy. Sometimes we fail. Sometimes we lose. Sometimes things just don't work out the way that we planned. Sometimes we graduate from law school, take and pass the bar, and are still unemployed. What makes us strong, what gives us character, is how we react in the face of failure. Do we lay down and accept defeat? Do we learn from our defeat and use it to move forward?
I'm preparing to do a report on the book of Deutoronomy in church this week. Deutoronomy is written in the form of 3 sermons delivered by Moses to the Children of Isreal before they cross into the Promised Land. What strikes me about the book is how many times Moses tells the Children of Isreal that they WILL turn their backs on God. Its incredible. Here are these Isrealites, finally reaching this perfect land that God has promised to their ancestors after wandering for 40 years in the wilderness. They are probably in a celebratory mood. They are probably thanking God and singing His praises. And here comes Moses, like Debbie Downer, telling them that its inevitable that they will forget all the wonderful things God has done for them and all the incredbile things that God has brought them through.
But honestly, that's life. I admit that I was riding high last week. Getting up every morning, praying, working out, being productive and organized about moving my career forward. I was enjoying the benefits... the increased energy, the great mood I was in. I thought I had it all under control. I wasn't prepared for failure. I didn't think that I could fail. But I was setting myself up for failure. I was forgetting that getting up early in the morning wasn't just about working out and being productive. It was about starting off my day being focused on God. Everything else (working out, job hunting, networking, being pleasant) flowed from there.
Moses tells the Children of Isreal that its inevitable that they will fail and lose the Promised Land that they waited so long to inherit. But that if they will return to God with their whole heart, He will return them to their inheritance. Similarly, I'm returning to my 40 day journey with my whole heart, focusing on God. I will accept the benefits as they come, but I will not allow myself to be distracted by them.
My father used to always say we plan and God PLANS. Its ok for me to have a plan for my life. Everyone needs goals and ambitions. I want to lose 20 pounds (I need to lose at least 40, but that's a story for another day). But I will work harder to not let my plans and my goals distract me from God's plan for me. I will focus on Him with my whole heart, and whatever flows from there will be marvelous in my eyes.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Starting my day off the right way...
I am an emotional eater. There! I've said it! The worst part about being an emotional eater is that you look up one day and wonder how it is that you shrunk all your pants in the dryer. Well... the pants have not gotten smaller. I have gotten bigger. I had no idea that being unemployed and underemployed was kicking my emotional eating into overdrive. And then... a few days ago... I stepped on the scale. Yikes! Then and there I developed an action plan.
The only way for me to get a good workout in is to get up at 6 AM. As part of the customs of my church we are supposed to get up at 6 AM and pray The Disciples Prayer (Matthew 6:9-13). I made a commitment to myself to get up, pray, workout, get my daughter to daycare, and then get myself to my temp job. For 40 days I will do this. Today is Day 3.
On Day 1, my daughter tried to sabotage my efforts. Normally she is like an alarm clock, waking up between 7 and 7:30 every day of the week. But that morning she tried to wake up with me at 6. I was almost immediately discouraged, but closed my eyes and prayed anyway. By the time I was done praying she was asleep once again. In any event, I was noticeably more focused throughout the day and was able to put serious effort into my Public Defender application.
On Day 2, I was sore from Day 1's workout, but I pushed through anyway. Starting my day off with prayer and a workout put me in a great mood. I am not, nor have I ever been, a morning person. (Ask my poor husband who has had nearly 4 years of dealing with my early morning grumpiness). But getting up at 6 isn't as hard as I thought. And the benefits of starting my day off focused on God has put me in the right mindset for the day. On Day 2, 3 informational interviews practically set themselves up for me. Being open to God's will in my life and allowing my day to begin with Him increases my likelihood of having a great day. I find that I'm using my time more efficiently, learning more about myself, and dealing better with situations as they occur.
All of this because I'm starting off my day with a little prayer and exercise. Who knows... maybe I'll be employed by Day 40. If it is God's will... I say let it be done!
The only way for me to get a good workout in is to get up at 6 AM. As part of the customs of my church we are supposed to get up at 6 AM and pray The Disciples Prayer (Matthew 6:9-13). I made a commitment to myself to get up, pray, workout, get my daughter to daycare, and then get myself to my temp job. For 40 days I will do this. Today is Day 3.
On Day 1, my daughter tried to sabotage my efforts. Normally she is like an alarm clock, waking up between 7 and 7:30 every day of the week. But that morning she tried to wake up with me at 6. I was almost immediately discouraged, but closed my eyes and prayed anyway. By the time I was done praying she was asleep once again. In any event, I was noticeably more focused throughout the day and was able to put serious effort into my Public Defender application.
On Day 2, I was sore from Day 1's workout, but I pushed through anyway. Starting my day off with prayer and a workout put me in a great mood. I am not, nor have I ever been, a morning person. (Ask my poor husband who has had nearly 4 years of dealing with my early morning grumpiness). But getting up at 6 isn't as hard as I thought. And the benefits of starting my day off focused on God has put me in the right mindset for the day. On Day 2, 3 informational interviews practically set themselves up for me. Being open to God's will in my life and allowing my day to begin with Him increases my likelihood of having a great day. I find that I'm using my time more efficiently, learning more about myself, and dealing better with situations as they occur.
All of this because I'm starting off my day with a little prayer and exercise. Who knows... maybe I'll be employed by Day 40. If it is God's will... I say let it be done!
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Networking is easier than you think
Every time we encounter someone new, it is an opportunity to show them who we are, not just what we're qualified to do. I have resolved to be a good person, someone who follows through, someone who is trustworthy and diligent. That has nothing to do with the fact that I'm an attorney. It has everything to do with the fact that I'm striving to be a Saint of the Most High. If I focus on being a good person, eventually networking opportunities present themselves to me.
I hate networking. I hate the idea of walking into a room of people I don't know and finding some way to tell them how fabulous I am just in case they might be in the position to give me a job. That being said... I need a job and networking is really my best weapon to combat my unemployment.
While I hunt for a job, I have been working as temp. My latest assignment landed me in the position of receptionist in a large nonprofit organization. I planned to do the job to the best of my ability and just be an all-around pleasant person. Out of the blue, the woman who was training me asked if I was interested in this work for my career. I told her no, explaining that I had just become a lawyer. By the end of the day, the entire agency knew that they had a lawyer answering their phones. A few asked to see my resume. I don't know what will come of those inquiries, but I do know that I learned an important lesson. If I'm the best I can be everyday, eventually someone will take notice, and my career will no longer be in a holding pattern.
Meanwhile, I chose to believe that I'm stuck in this unemployed holding pattern for a reason. God, of course, doesn't make mistakes. I have no idea why He placed me here, or what He wants me to learn. But the least I can do is keep my eyes and my ears open, and keep my heart in the right place. As long as I'm a willing vessel He will use me for some good.
I hate networking. I hate the idea of walking into a room of people I don't know and finding some way to tell them how fabulous I am just in case they might be in the position to give me a job. That being said... I need a job and networking is really my best weapon to combat my unemployment.
While I hunt for a job, I have been working as temp. My latest assignment landed me in the position of receptionist in a large nonprofit organization. I planned to do the job to the best of my ability and just be an all-around pleasant person. Out of the blue, the woman who was training me asked if I was interested in this work for my career. I told her no, explaining that I had just become a lawyer. By the end of the day, the entire agency knew that they had a lawyer answering their phones. A few asked to see my resume. I don't know what will come of those inquiries, but I do know that I learned an important lesson. If I'm the best I can be everyday, eventually someone will take notice, and my career will no longer be in a holding pattern.
Meanwhile, I chose to believe that I'm stuck in this unemployed holding pattern for a reason. God, of course, doesn't make mistakes. I have no idea why He placed me here, or what He wants me to learn. But the least I can do is keep my eyes and my ears open, and keep my heart in the right place. As long as I'm a willing vessel He will use me for some good.
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